WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU WOULD?

what doesn`t kill you makes you join a cult , that nobody knows about ,

 so you go ,

 bathe in blood & bones from the ages of satire and stones , 

that they throw  , 

so you take an oath at that cult of choices , that give  you chances 

Chances to fail and fear without noises, 

the fulcrum of feats that they lost now 

but you are the leader of that cult and that eccentric town. 

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

When you want to be softer and calmer

What doesn't kill you, makes you sophisticated

When you want to wiser and nicer

What doesn't kill you makes you go around in circles

And come back with axes in the middle of the mayhem

To kill your emotions , to kill the constant dialogue 

What doesn't kill you makes you kill everyone 

What doesn't kill you makes you cautious in sight 

Cautious enough to never fully commit and die. 

So let me kill myself  instead

So I can kill me and my anathema of the versions I have created of you in my mind

I am a writer and I write to desperately die 

But I chose to sleep instead so they can kill me easily this time 

But they don't some how, what a missed opportunity to get the crown 

Guns in my bag and knives in my stack

All to kill myself, all to kill the versions of my better halves who make me my worst self to come Out ? 

Not even eventually but constantly

Who to decide? 

Who to get the headgear of pride? 

What didn't kill him, 

Made him atrocious about our fights

That happened long ago

And I can see those too because I am the fan of what ifs in my mind 

I love the potential, but I am so afraid to even  try

All this hurt and all this crying 

To not end up together but not even deny , 

It didn't kill me

It didn't treat me fine

Am I the wrong guy? 

Am I really into him this time ? 

So Let me write poems about my muse

Till the end of my lifetime

Am I the Taylor Swift of 2029? 

But I am afraid to be like her, all this damn time

What doesn't kill you, 

Comes back! Fool around and never really admit ! 

That killing is an immortal act and jail is not a career choice 

What doesn't kill you, 

Make you wake up in psychiatric ward , 

What doesn't let you live, 

Would haunt you for bloody life! 

There is no point of this damn life , 

But I see nothing really to ring a bell 

So I join the cult of contentment

But I hear the Carcasses of insane rise 

From the grave , where gentlemen cries

From The garden, where landlord loses their only child

From the palace, where God is ungrateful for the mankind 

A man is a man, a lady is a lady, 

A maniac is a maniac, an occultist is an occultist

But I am a poet, and I act like a prisoner

When I want to be a human, but I feel like a caged bird with lost sight 

Let me at least properly try 

And change the augur this very time

So they don't put me in the asylum of assumptions

Where all my past lovers are my passion projects and potential guides

That leave me, on the foot steps of our very last fight. 

I wanna run, but I really wanna try

I wanna stand still, but can I please die? 

What doesn't kill you, 

Would Put you in a long coma 

But what doesn't make you feel right in your gut 

Will surely make you silence your empathy and sit with your alchemist mind for very long time 

So you would  develop a passion around your relationships and possible life what ifs 

And simultaneously forget to process the grief and forever pine , 

Sitting in the canopy of the pine tree

To be what you really wanted to be 

But all you ever wanted to be was the real choice of one guy 

A worthy ideal that someone would try for

That something would die for

But isn't this a partial lie

Because the list is long and the line is longer 

So you pick and choose the best like your mother

But when you feel heard

All your pride dwindles

The wind settles in and the trees smile

The wind will take us away

The wind will clear our stay

What doesn't kill you, 

Would make you alive , 

From the graves of ghosts that you tamed for that a while

What doesn't kill you, 

Makes you taste life twice and dine 

Even when it taste sour and sweet at the very same time 

What doesn't kill you 

Will be your your weapon in disguise 

Will be your night in shining armor

Will be your friend in crowded corners

But the fact remains the same 

what doesn't kill you 

Would ultimately make you a great poet even without trying. 

What doesn't kill you, 

Will bleed in your skin & bones for lifetime, 

All Sacrosanct & bonafide. 

Leeza