DEATH DUE TO INDIFFERENCE

DEATH DUE TO INDIFFERENCE

 

Virtues , Virtues , Virtues ,

Either combating the fruit of nothingness,

Craving what is lack ,

Catering In my solace instead

 

Look I am dead, Look I am death ,

What an ingenuine piece of shit ,

 I am

In this world of excesses and lacks.

 

I feel death , but I feed on life instead,

I am made up of cuts and mistrust ,

As I try to survive on pinterest,

Held in my knee, building another apology.

 

My phenox is even dead ,

And my ashes are all starved to death .

I find comfort in self harm,

I find peace in your ingenuineness .

 

 

Inconsideration makes me sterile,

Indifference makes me sick ,

Inhumaneness serves the purposes of your necessarily ill existence .

 

I cut my throat ,

I broke my bones ,

I malfunctioned my mind,

And killed my heart.

 

And now I take it out,

Searching for its grave yard .

Piecing together the ways to bury it ,

But I forgot that you have ignominiously burnt it .

 

I took my brain out ,

And kept it in a box,

So I can`t think,

So I can`t disagree.

 

I have tasted death ,

Enough times in my existence,

More than I have tasted affection and your indifference .

 

I bail out daily ,

To look out for life ,

That I stored in you,

For a while.

 

Death has become my profession,

Death has become my passion,

Death is the name of your notification,

Death is the name of our unborn child`s existence .

 

Death wakes me up at night ,

And only sings to me in the noons to sleep,

No, I am not a witch,

But I still preach vices in my prayers of indifference.

 

 

Yesterday , I had food after a week,

And I tasted some sweet compassion of my mother,

Who told me to not die of indifference and solitary existence ,

And I told her , “ that I am already dead ,”

 

She yelled at me , and fed me some more ,

So I can be alive and relive this life,

But I was dead , so dead to feel anything ,

So dead to even die once more,

So dead to even cry or weep,

So dead to even smile or sleep,

So dead to even feel sick anymore,

And then she asked me – “ who did this to you?’’

 

But what can I answer ?

When I know it`s me ,

Who didn`t leave at times ,

when I should have run for a mile .

 

I have failed my mother ,

I have failed my feelings ,

I have failed my love ,

as I was never indifferent to your indifference.

 

How pathetic could be my existence,

How traumatic has your grace turned over me?

They asked me once, what are jokes made of ?

I said , surely of died relationships .

Then they asked me , what is communication made of ?

I said, lack of comprehension.

They again asked me, what is inconsideration made up of?

I said, a lot of mean words , frequently and regularly , spoken so genuinely , always innecessarily .

Then they asked me , what am I made of ?

I said, "Burning candles of indifference" .

 

So many years have passed ,

And I still come back this poem,

To reread the versus of vices , in the hope to find virtue .

 

I have learnt nothing from life,

Except loving you ,

I have taken nothing from life,

Except the reasons for leaving you .

I hope you are happy now ,

But are you loved? Enough

Anyway, I am taking Death as my destiny

And indifference as my fate.

 

Don’t ask me ever again,

Or apologize to me,

As I have learnt my lesson,

Of turning Deaf ear over your existence,

 

But I am Death ,

Yes I am , indeed .

As I don`t often practice what I preach ,

But this time I did.

As this time , I didn`t die alone,

I died taking something so precious of yours ,

Your indifference died within me ,

And I accepted “ THE DEATH WITH YOUR INDIFFERENCE MY UNFORTUNATE DESTINY.”

[As you always said , no one is capable of feeling these feelings as you do.]

 

 

By

"SOMEONE WHO DIED"