CAN I KILL YOU AND CALL IT SUICIDE?

EXAGGERATION AND IMAGINATION ARE USED 


Now even if this end ,
I know  I won't kill  myself  .
I have learnt to practice  patience , 
as I know  you are so bad at genuine  communication. 

So smart to not dial a number and not call  ,
That how we solve disputes ,
I heard it in a while that let your man decide   ,
Decide  the way he wanna make this die.

So it has been a complete  circle ,
Not communicating  is the end 
My ex just texted me sending me my old photos  ,so wow
No I am not going  back.


But I don't  know  if I am staying  in  ,
I am just a wall facing flat on my bed 
Who hold my tears  and my turmoils,
Every  passing day instead. 

I was  crying  in the morning mourning the death of my grandparents  ,
Who expired  2 and 4 years  , ago
Not weeping mourning our stagnant  relationship ,
Because  that's  how we deal with our selves. 

I don't  like telling  my issues to you  ,
And you  never asked me what is wrong  with me ,
Whilst , you never found anything  wrong  within me,
Unless  I am not expressing  love to you   one day. 


Remarkable  , I have failed to contemplate ,
Was I wrong  to suppress  how bad it feel, 
Or am i wrong   because  I can't  express  myself 
But I was surely  wrong  when I couldn't cuddle you that day because  I didn't  feel like .


But now I am like  you are gone any way
And nobody  would  know if you lived happily or miserably
So why does it matter? 
What matter is to survive or attempt  suicide on a very fine day. 


 Nothing's  gonna be permanent  ,
We all are gonna die somehow
You would  love someone else, 
But it doesn't  really matter for me now

I passed my barely non existent life 
And that's why I am now a self made clown 
But does it really  matter  ? 
Death is our ultimate  destined unasked choice for me, for a while. 

I am gonna take nap in my heavenly bed, 
Wake up and drink a cup of tea, 
And trust me everything is gonna be fine, 
Before I become the cause of next fatricide, 
As I am an only child 

Leeza 

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