when a flower costs you your freedom.

Sometimes I feel of what egos are made of. Like it takes the whole new gamut of gun power and these nutshell doesn't change and remain the same. Everything seems unending at the commencement but even when it feel so enchanting that every piece of the unending ends and collapses. Human as a creature doesn't react, really with there big nutshell egos. They won't apologize sincerely and when I say sincerely I mean it. Texting out your way cause the other person doesn't talk to you and because you feel bad is so morally corrupt that even after hurting someone you text them back insincerely and say sorry why? Because you feel bad and not for the sake that how much you have hurted them. Sometimes I feel how burnt, broken and bruised that places would be where you keep on marking dimensions of you deeds. How must dust and decay, it has gone through. I really want to see the injured part and put the right kind of medicine on it, so it can heal. How much suffering has it gone too? How much? 

I might even feel disgusted to look at that part of mine or yours but yes I want to caress that in the core and concurrent parts to let it flower and furnish rather than die a death like your past relationships and your security did. How one took my time, energy and smile, other took my security, trust and peace of mind, and the one here and there took away my dare, vigour and provided me with the cement to adjoin my inner walls further. I want this to go a mile Or two or forever but yes I know that it has taken away from me my liberty to put on my legends. Isn't liberty the first and the last thing that one looks for?  Yes according to me, it is, indeed. The emancipation to entail my human candid expression helps me to learn, grow and understand myself more. But do i feel I have that, no not being in this cycle, I never and I would never . 

So I have finally decided to break this chain and come out if this as a cocoon and deliver the monsoons past at other summer noons. It sounds like September but feels like December, I know my heart is blemished and by not one, two or three hurts but by uncountable of them but I know I would grow out to let it heal and restore although not becoming what it always was but still better than it is now . I really hope my heart learns to heal on its own within the diameters of it's muse as I feel I no more need a doctor at this time frame as they rob the freedom out of you to act and express. So, the prime mover is always that , that when you incept to inhibit expressing the will also ends and because you feel love for the other person you in no matter realizes that by allowing the other to restraint you from having certain thoughts you love has costed you your liberty this time and this is not a bargain but this is an unreasonable purchase that you felt like buying at the very first place but when you came to know the cost you in your unrealisation staked it just feeling it is a steal for you but you didn't come to know that it has been snatched out of you. What? Nothing just your liberty on the cost of your (insecure)love .