A SADIST SINCE BIRTH

A SADIST SINCE BIRTH

 

Why does it only has to be me?

Filling the voids of ever green ingenuities ?

Seeking postures of pain and curse , one after the other ,

Lurking in the background of everyone`s stories  ?

Waiting with the virtues of my grief, I couldn't make you love me, 

Better I can make my mind, That I could only turn you into my poetry, 

Were we broken, before we met? 

Were we stolen, ingenuity absurd. 

Am I mastermind or really  sad? 

Can I write you a revenge song instead,

that sound like , a hawkers cell. 

Where you captured me and took me under desk , 

Flasking my alcohol, weeping for you is my only regret. 

High on caffeine , lying on my bed, Sitting next to you, keeping quiet. 

Filled with vulnerability , sabotaging  my whole week

Cutting my hairs on Thursdays , they call me freak, 

So I asked you again, are we in love? 

Could you return my printer , so I could print us ?

put it on my desk , in the library , so I could collect it, recollect us .(in the trash can) 

Are we meant to end like this, even after all of this?

Why are we so temporary just like the month Februaries ?

 

Was it necessary for you to break my heart into pieces ?

That I could never pick up and rephrase it ?

Why did you have to put multiple stunts in my heart?

So I could never properly seek or sew it ?

Why did you just leave me without telling me ?

And then come back like nothing changed ?

So I could built countless flats-&-floors on the buildings of this trauma?

You were so ingenuine with everything you did , as your partime is hanging out with trauma. 

 

Its been four years since we ended ,

 the rust that you put on my skin is roses with thorns flowering .

I never wanted you back , all I wanted was to know,

How could someone do this to everybody and walk past In their next life ?

 

Do you really ever think of me and go like ,

She had all in her and I hurt her ,and cut her with her knife ,

Took her brain cells , manipulated her mind,

hacked her heart and shot her wise?

 

Wild apathy, sick and salty, you were bold to ask me,

When you cheated on me , “do still want to be friends with you ?”

How could you think I was this blind , with my specs on,

You were such a saddist , I hope you die your sad death, in all  your seven lives .

 

My mother even told me, he is a cheater,

He here to kill and cruxify you , reader 

Bleaked in your lies and  unsolicited ways of tongue twisters,

I could say , I found so much love , after I dragged you out .

So Vintage hearts, only breaks,  with cracks of cookies, in nutcase 

I am acknowledged, I am enlarged , I can write salty songs  about  us. 

Wearing bracelets , lockets, ties ,Precocious is my child. 

My father is a loner, my mother is in another rut, I am the daughter of two old mucks, 

Wearing specs, I somehow survive,Just to stab, from the back , alright? 

Now I learned another word, That sound so petty to digest

Who to call in front to disgust, Racists die, nightly lives. 

 

All you did to her , was way worse than me ,

Because she told you she liked you behind, 

And you had your games set, we were so amateur at this, 

So you wore your words so well to pull her in your  cage ,

 

And locked her in, stood out with the keys, strangling 

She was so thirsty and she died just like the swan does,

And you still play with her somber soul ,

What a sick soul you got from your parents , a sadist since birth. 

 

The same thing you did  to your own best friend,

When she told you she is not into you,

What is worse than this?

This is when  despair is knotted in the sweater of sweet silk ?

 

But I ran, from a howl like you,

A curse to be someday into  a  crusader  like you,

Yesterday I slept till a little too late,

Had a dream ,where I shot you dead ,

 

So this morning , I woke up so fresh,

As my mind just built you , to melt you down,

You are on the ground , the battles over,

The demon is dead , my trident is bloody red. 

 

What a sick soul you got from your elders,

Satisfying on cruxifying women smaller than your age,

What a sick soul you got from your parents,

Turning into a sadist , even before it was famous.

Leeza