WRECKED LOVE

[A PERSONALISED NOTE]

4:05 am-01/03/2023

Love and we call this this bullshit love. Like in which the prime task for one is to become indifferent to another rather than sorting out issues . like how cool one thinks he is when he loves to not talk out his feeling 99% percent of the time and even be indifferent to the other person and then feel that oh it ain`t working out because the person who has started to become indifferent now is not comfortable and happy with you? Lmao really? Like you could not talk our and sort out your issues. The end of ultimate suppression is ultimate destruction and maybe be indifference sometimes. I am sad , phenomenally , I am cause love and attachment are two things that takes time to get back but sometimes I really question myself was I really looking for this?

 Like the constant silence between you and me? Sometimes I feel how weird you are like , so weird that you can be worshipped for your weirdness, that I can fancy how phenomenally who came to the conclusion after 1.5 years , oh! I couldn`t fit in and you couldn`t take a simple joke or always tries to teach me a lesson. Yeah , the lesson that you must have learned , the lesson to be expressible . I regret more than I am sad or feeling bad for myself that we have good moments, indeed we did. Maybe less than 8 days or maybe 8 , but we had , do I need to describe them to get the romantic cliché glitch , or we can get away without describing them .maybe we couldn`t 1.5 minutes for 1.5 long relationship,lol , do I sound rude , indeed I might me . ok , I couldn`t recognise you on 22nd july and tbh , I can do it today I would be more happy , hahahah. Then , i loved the long walk we had on 23rd july,2021 and in a day in October . on 23rd july, I defended myself against seven dogs for you , whoas, like you always do . Omg, the heat of that day was ughhh , but still less than your 28th January 2022 rage , if someone would ask me if I want to relive them now and get to the fact how indifferent you are now.i would shout NOOOOOOOOO, NEVERRRRRR.

 The dichotomy kills you , cause you are bloody ignorant of the fact that once I was the only reason for your happiness. Sometimes I feel so disgusted that why one wants to be in love? Like why really? Karan hi kya hai? Kyu chahiye vo deep connection , jab end mai indifference is the ultimate key. The walk of 23rd july made me weep for you, cause you would go .but you know what, you were never really mine , I know , maybe I guess. I always thought , you couldn`t leave me . maybe I was wrong . maybe you were too weak , idk but maybe one part of me still feel that as issues are identified they can be resolved , but I know you love indifference over dispute resolution mechanism. You feel things objectively , I feel I am the subject of this so subjective world , here and then. You got the power to fight for the relevance of cracking jokes to do fun ,when they ain`t serving the exact person for which they should be cracked , yes having fun . you know how to compare your relationship with others rather than sticking around it and getting to understand that this is different , the people , there personalities, there prototypes and their paradigms are all apart and for this, things have to be dealt differently . 

you think , relationship mai understanding ho, when you don`t feel like saying what you feel and how things should be dealt . sorry but I feel pity, that I thought that I am picking a guy this time who would stick around me and would be strong enough to understand that issues are part and parcel of any relationship and identification , conversation and caternment are the only way to deal with them .i even feel pity that why I was vulnerable ? like so freaking vulnerable , you didn`t deserve anything , nothing at all.