If I could ever not write about you

 If I could ever not write...

If I could ever not write  how much you meant to me,

Understand the language of my eyes in all shade of blue and dark green.

If I could ever not write and state how much I missed you that solitary night,

Understand that the actions of my despair , only Vibed with you at that random night .

If I could ever not write about how that one message that you send daily mean to me,

Understand it with the

Way I look at you.

If I could ever not write about how many times in a day your face glances before me eyes,

Understand it with the way, I look at you every day.

If I could ever not write  about how I enjoy spending time with you,

Understand it with the way I try to bellish myself but only when I picture myself with you.

If I could ever not write,

How much My inner voices scream,

when I don't talk to you for more than twenty hours or so,

Understand the look of my face and get back to me, the other day, kindly, before that, as follows.

If I could not write, how much my body pains and my heart aches, when you don't hold me the way you should, 

Understand it with the tone of my voice and the zone of my changed eye brow. 

If I could ever not write about how I daily crave at night to hold your hand and hug you so tightly,

Understand it how my eyes roll across to look at your chest, where I want to put my head.

If I could ever not write about how I want to kiss you so badly,

Understand it with the moment of my Parched lips , anyway.

If I could ever not write about how I want you to sleep in lap, so peacefully,

Understand it with the words that I half say and then I stop in the middle , strategically.

If I could ever not write about how many times I imagined myself laughing with you,

Understand it with the way I smile, because that's the smile, I have only saved for you.

If I could ever not write about the possibility of you and me ending up together someday,

Understand the way of whispers that creep in your ear at each darksome night, at every day. 

If i could ever not write about you and I, 

Please understand, you are the only one, who stays always in my heart and my mind. 

If I could ever not write about us, 

Understand that insecurity is not the key to address. 

If i could ever not write about how we should daily meet, though we rarely ever met in our dreams and real lives, 

Understand, I still want to be in your arms, at all times, regularly. 

But if I will ever choose to write about you, 

I won't be able to picture myself in my writings without you.

Cause that's how you taught me to write and that's how I really want to write,

As now all I would be able to paint ,would be you in my diary with that ink, and now even my pages have learnt to smell just like you.

So if I would ever not be able to state about how much I love you,

Read these words again , 

As your love is the only thing that make me picture seque.

Leeza