A SILHOUETTE OF NOTHINGNESS ~ Lyrics

A SILHOUETTE OF NOTHINGNESS  ~ Lyrics

I had a dream , where I saw no one ,
except your shadows glistening and gloating , 
and I could just imitate your voice in my head,
and we both know that I am making all of this up.

I told you , that I loved you , from the start,
and you said nothing , I thought you had a change of heart,
but could I complain, I was fine, not hoping us to last,
till you got a job you dreamt that you weren`t happy about.

you need some brain , more than a heart ,
you talk like a guy I talked in rental cars and drunken bars,
you love the chase in everything , you like the idea of failing ,
and I just thought , it was just an eighteen year old thing .

its better to commit , cheat  and then move on,
then sit on the table drawing maps of what for ?
I found your provoking ambivalence , a rose colored slit  in your empty heart?
I don`t what to hear you talk , you are the man of many changing masks.

all this to say, I hope you are okay , but you are in prison
selling your soul, finding non existence , a man on no mission,
I hope you find that sooner , there Is no happiness in anything , except few moments
and if we don`t talk , then we are just post modern rocks, a rhetoric of lost hopes

I hope you thrive in love in ways you thrive  in counterfeit ,
I hope you marry a girl and don`t change your mind ,
I hope you become a finance guy , and don`t find,
that selling all your customers , the conman costumes would make them die .

till you will have no work , will be bankrupt , had debt of a crime , you committed just for fun
don`t hold a grudge ,  I know October is your birthday month , 
can`t remember the date , even this time .
and I know you get upset when I don`t ring a bell , never mind.

I  see , the year changes and you remain the same ,
never aging , never  to realize, that chasing forever is your forever self sabotage phase
thankyou for your birthday cakes, they taste so good, but are unhealthy to bite,
but I love the knife that come with it   , just like all your made up lies .

who would not love you?
who would not adore a mentally insane ,  stunningly haunting eminently Equivocal guy?
but who do you love?
I think you hate yourself , when all your friends say goodbye .

I hope you are enjoying your errands , or atleast not envying  them
but I know, now you hate all of them , not a wild guess, I guess
just like you hate commitment , your fake attempt at oblivion
an imposter , don`t you love establishment , I mean the current capitalist government ?

but then you hunted me down , to give me a blow,
just because I cared to congratulate you for the avocation you got into.
and told me , you loved me in a way , it felt like a confession of an insult ,
drooling over me , knowing I liked you too much to let you go.

fun fact, you would marry me in your head
and you would never see me around , instead
you mistook my niceties , you mistook my pride
ghosting me and telling me that I was the one you forget , make up a nice lie.

telling me , I was an addiction of some sorts,  a few days before
because it wasn't riveting , once it wasn`t illicit ,I see your encore
had an affair with you , but no regrets,
atleast saw you , for what you have to offer , not even a silhouette.

who would not love you?
who would not fall for an uncertain beguile of unrest?
but who do you love?
I think you hate yourself , don`t you just keep people around , to lessen your loneliness ?

but who would love you?
when they will know all your tricks and your trade?
but who would not leave?
I think you would leave yourself , aren`t you the same guy to chase the girls in committed relationships ?

but who would not insult you?
when they know , that you are just another arm`s rest ?
I can bet that`s the charm of your entertaining quests,
nobody speaks , while everybody agrees , that you love to contest only as a guest.

perpetual pursuit is a self effacing circus of what`s next?, they all said
perpetual pursuit is a self effacing circus of being everyone`s favorite ex, till all of them left. 
you are true nihilist , that all of us took out of context ,
a finance guy , who would gamble all his money to become a poet, 

because you couldn`t marry one , for a day and then abandon it , on the very next ,

we get , we get, forbiddens are your favorites ,
but don`t you love , that I left? [you do , you do]
you love like a religion , when they leave , and never come back.

Leeza